I Hear My s-kíx-zeʔ (Mother’s) Voice Empowering Me to Relearn Nłeʔkepmxcin

Abstract

For the purpose of this paper, Aiona, of Nłeʔkepmx ancestry, will share her spíləxṃ (personal story). Her spíləxṃ consists of a journey of self-reflection and sharing her spíləxṃ as she learns to tell her late mother’s sptékʷł (traditional teaching story) of s-kelúleʔ (owl) in Nłeʔkepmxcin, her first language. The sptékʷł (story) is a recorded version from 1979. Learning the sptékʷł from a recording came with many challenges. Through this experience and process, the author hoped for a transformative healing experience to help overcome many childhood fears and traumas that were brutally imposed on her at residential school for speaking Nłeʔkepmxcin. The author’s belief is that the learning process will facilitate the unblocking of old memories and fears that have for years prevented her success in past efforts to speak Nłeʔkepmxcin. Through her journey, she was moved to reconnect more strongly with ancestors by practicing the smudging prayer and cleansing ceremony. This seemed to mitigate many of the fears that had been triggered through remembering her language interruption in residential school. She also discovered that in a daily routine of ceremonial prayer and painting, she found safe places to continue her spíləx-̣m. During months of an agonizing but liberating journey of writing, painting, crying, laughing, sleep deprivation, recurrence of health issues, new insights, and reconnection with Nłeʔkepmx identity, family, community, and culture, the author has written an emotionally intimate and courageous spíləxṃ. The journey is not over but the beginning of language revitalization for the author.