Toward an understanding of my transformational experience with cancer
Date
1990
Authors
Ferguson, Barbara Faye
Journal Title
Journal ISSN
Volume Title
Publisher
Abstract
The phenomenological research process is one in which a systematic attempt is made to uncover and describe the deeper meanings underlying the particulars of a lived experience. Phenomenology aims to make explicit that which is implicit; to uncover the essential meaning structures inherent in an experience. This hermeneutic phenomenological study examined the researcher's lived experience of having cancer. The overriding task of the project was to construct a reflective-interpretive text that mirrored the essential nature of this particular lived experience.
The research question chosen was in line with phenomenological tradition which directs us to ask "What is it like" to live a particular experience. In this case, the question asked was: What is it like to have cancer? Or more specifically, what was it like for the researcher to have experienced cancer?
A journal written by the researcher during the cancer experience provided the initial text for the hermenuetic work. Anecdotes were developed that reflected important meanings embedded in each particular aspect of the experience. The anecdotes served to give substance or concrete counterweight to the thematic formulation and analysis that comprised the remainder of the final text.
Through thematic formulation and analysis, an attempt was made to
explicate the underlying meanings, to mirror the essential nature of the
experience.
Following the first two chapters, which establish the ground for the research question and delineate the research methods, the remaining chapters in the thesis each examine a question which represents a piece in the understanding of the overriding research question. These questions and themes are:
What is it like to await a potentially serious medical diagnosis? The primary theme examined in relation to this question is the concept of waiting. In trying to come to an understanding of waiting in the context of awaiting a diagnosis, the text examines the body in-between; desperate waiting; waiting with hope; and waiting with uncertainty.
What is it like to know you have cancer? The themes examined in relation to this question are: a new reality of self; the body/mind; cancer victim as leper; lived spaces of safety and threat; and cancer as intruder.
What is it like to decide on a course of treatment when the "wrong" choice could be life-threatening? The themes examined in relation to this question include: choice; body/mind partnership; and the difficulty with which one achieves efficacy within the medical system.
What is it like to experience cancer treatments which entail harm to the body? The themes examined in relation to this question are: exposing the body to destruction; relationships that sustain; rediscovering a future; and dwelling.
What are some of the lessons to be learned from having a life-threatening disease? The themes examined in relation to this question include: suffering; sensitivity to beauty; body as friend; and being cared for.
What transformations occur as a result of the crisis of having cancer? The themes examined in relation to this question are: evolution and transformation; loss of certitude; connectedness and unity.
The final chapter of the thesis looks at the experience of conducting the research through an examination of the following themes: theorizing as edifying activity; evolving tactfulness; and personal integration.
Selected quotes from literature and poetry are used throughout the study to add strength and richness to the text and to give a broader perspective to the interpretive work.