Building a relationship with a new partner after divorce
Date
1990
Authors
Hanna, Roslyn Agnes
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Abstract
This study investigated, from a phenomenological perspective, formerly married individuals' experience of building a relationship with a new partner. Six participants revealed their experience of this process through an indepth interview. Participants reported five major areas where problems arose in the new relationship. These areas were: past relationships, commitment, marriage, parenting and rewards and costs of being in the relationship.
Participants were still sensitive and self-protecting when interacting with ex-spouses or when interacting with new partners in ways that reminded them of their ex-spouse. Participants were mistrustful of commitment as a guarantee for the relationship to continue. Commitment emerged as a concept that was built on trustworthy action rather than commitment evolving into trust. Marriage had very negative connotations for all participants. There was an interest in traditional marriage for specific advantages but participants in this study did not feel there were many psychological benefits to marriage. Parenting and step-parenting were issues for participants and basically revolved around being uncomfortable with their role and wanting to withdraw.
Participants in this study expended a great deal of energy on assessing the balance of the rewards and costs of being in the relation. Attention to this aspect of the relationship emerged from the separation and/or divorce where bargaining and dividing the spoils of the marriage is such a consuming and emotional ordeal. Very few participants were truly satisfied with the division of assets from the previous marriage.
The study concludes with suggestions for counsellors and for future research.