Submission, silence and shame : mennonite women's experiences of wife abuse
Date
1994
Authors
Kampen, Ruth Marie
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Abstract
Employing feminist research methods, this qualitative study has examined the problem of wife abuse, focusing specifically on the experiences of Mennonite women. Mennonites were selected because of their conservative theological teachings and their historical tradition as a "peace church." Research has revealed that women in abusive relationships face many obstacles when attempting to end the abuse and/or their relationships. This thesis examines whether Mennonite women experience additional impediments as a result of their socialization within a conservative Christian church.
Through in-depth, face-to-face interviews with nine formerly abused Mennonite wives, the women's abuse experiences were documented, as well as their coping strategies and reasons for remaining with their abusers. Additionally, the women were asked about their help seeking experiences and whether various church teachings hindered or helped them in understanding or coping with the abuse, and if and how their personal beliefs changed as a result of their abuse experiences.
This study found that Mennonite women experienced varying forms of abuse. All nine of the research participants were emotionally/psychologically abused, while eight of the nine women were physically abused. Six of the women were also sexually abused by their husbands. Although all but one of the women were physically abused, the majority of the participants felt that the emotional abuse was the most detrimental to their emotional and physical well-being, a finding consistent with other literature on wife abuse.
The women remained committed to their marriages for as long as they did largely because they adhered to a traditional religious ideology, one that encouraged hierarchical marital relationships and stressed marital permanence. In addition, church teachings concerning the practices of submission, obedience, love and forgiveness reinforced their decisions to remain with their husbands and encouraged the women to accept responsibility for the "success" of their marriages. Consequently, the women experienced much guilt and self-blame, which led them to deny the abuse to themselves, to friends and family members, and to therapists and pastors. The women's internalization of the Mennonite peace theology affirmed their conviction to be peacemakers in their families. By attempting to maintain peaceful relations in the home, the women "turned the other cheek," and forgave their husbands' abusiveness. The women's desire to love and forgive their husbands increased their vulnerability to abuse because it encouraged passive acceptance of their husbands' actions.
This study found that the advice the participants received from church pastors typically blamed the women for their problems and encouraged them to change their own attitudes and behaviours. As a result, the women were disappointed with the help they received from their churches. Conversely, the women experienced a renewed faith in God as they endured their abusive marriages and the termination of those relationships. Their personal faith in God was a resource to them, while their churches were impediments. As a result, eight of the nine women left the churches they had been attending while they were married and sought larger, more liberal churches. In addition, the women began to examine the Bible more closely and questioned the Mennonite church's emphasis on various theological teachings.