You are so much more than your diagnosis: Exploring subjectivity and sense of self while living with a chronic sexually transmitted infection

Date

2024

Authors

Cannatella, Alanna

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Abstract

This project focuses on stigma and sexual health by investigating the lived experiences of individuals diagnosed with a chronic sexually transmitted infection (STI). I explore how their STI diagnosis impacts their sense of self and their relationships. Data come from 21 semi-structured in-depth interviews with individuals living with chronic STIs (Herpes Simplex Virus, HIV, and HPV). Interview questions consisted of exploring particular experiences related to living with a chronic STI (i.e. process of diagnosis, disclosing STI status to sexual partners, etc.) and various thoughts and feelings associated with living with a chronic STI. The study found that being diagnosed with a chronic STI disrupts one’s sense of self by forcing them to grapple with negativity and questions of self-worth, self-esteem, and identity disruption. This disruption was often intense and negative in the early stages of living with a chronic STI but improved significantly after rebuilding their sense of sense of self and accepting the often-insignificant realities of living with a chronic STI. Several common themed emerged regarding the impact of being diagnosed with and living with an incurable STI such as impacts on romantic, platonic, and familial relationships. Informants reported the presence and discussions regarding STIs to have one of three impacts: 1) strengthening meaningful and caring dynamics; 2) damaging or ending weak and surface level connections; or 3) largely having no meaningful impact on solid pre-existing dynamics without sexual activity. Informants highlighted several positive impacts that they had not anticipated emerging from living with a chronic STI, including: forming deeper, higher quality connections with others; prioritizing self-love and self-care; dating more intentionally and with higher standards, and finding a special sense of community amongst other STI+ individuals. Overall, despite having intense emotional, personal, romantic, and social struggles associated with the initial process of being diagnosed and living with a chronic STI, most informants discovered that their STI had little-to-no meaningful negative impact on their lives.

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Keywords

STI, Stigma, Sexual health, Herpes, Subjectivity, Relationships

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